Hydrogen Peroxide and My New Book

I've heard about the book (and now movie), Marly and Me. I havent read it, and I was thinking I should, but in all reality, I seem to be living my own story these past few days. Call it Leo and Me. And I have added a few chapters in the last two days.

About a month ago my little ball of joy found a used tampon in the trash and ate it. To make matters worse it was during our Thanksgiving dinner and it was from a guest. Yes, you may want to stop reading now, its going to get worse. My wife tried in vain to pull out the string which only made the little bugger swallow faster. Now what? After a little www research we opted to self induce some vomiting using peroxide. A few ounces down the hatch and 2 min later, walla, a very used personal feminine hygiene product.

Chapter two. Wednesday, while on my watch, I was cleaning the Jeep and Leo ate grass or what ever he does in the front yard when I'm ignoring him, when someone pulled into the church driveway across from ours. Normally this is not an issue, but out of that car jumped two small dogs, and Leo was off to the races. My little 2 year old does not fully understand the destructive power of the four wheeled wonders and proceeded stand on the center line as a F350 squalled his brakes in disgust. I felt like an ass as I scooped up my "fancy dog" as he has been called and drug him back to the safe confines of the house.

Then tonight. Again on my watch while the wife is off with friends I get another version of a budding sitcom. While I was finishing dinner and stuffing the dishwasher I heard a rustling behind the couch. I look down to see Leo finishing of the last of some hot pepper flavored chocolate bar I got from Santa. Oh crap! I was really looking forward to that chocolate Leo. Back to the WWW to get some opinion on how much is too much when it comes to canines and the luscious black toxin. The 2 oz he ate was well within the safe limits, but to be sure I pulled out the peroxide again.

What happened a few minutes later, still has me noshes. Up came the most disgusting blob of half digested habenaro chocolate slug that anyone could imagine. Then he tried to eat it again! I could go on, but I dont want to ruin the keyboard.

A few dozen paper towles and things are back to normal. Is there any wander now why I dont have kids?